Untitled FTL Fanfic - Chapter 1 - The Space-Kite (WIP)

This is the first time I'm putting one of my stories online. So please give me feedback, point out flaws in my writing so I can fix them & tell me how I can improve the story in pacing, technique, dialogue, characterization & whatnot. Also give me ideas on the name.

I have the general events of each chapter planned (there's 6 chapters) but everything you see right now is in a WIP state for the moment being. Your feedback & responses will help me improve & bring the story to a shape where I'm satisfied with releasing it online.

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Chapter 1  –  The Space-Kite

The Space-Kite was docked on the space station Signovia. In the outskirts of mantis controlled space, Signovia housed the only Federation base in over a thousand parsecs. The crew of the Space-Kite had just finished loading her up with necessary supplies and was having a rest in the cargo hold while going over their cargo itinerary when Captain Bear Lagardy, a man of thin but well-built stature in his early forties, walked in.

“Alright crew”, spoke the captain, “I have some bad news, some good news and some better news.”

“Well that’ll be a nice change of pace”, said the only other human crew of the Space-Kite, a strongly built woman in her late twenties.

“Quite. The bad news is that my application to get a crew teleporter installed was rejected thanks to our recent couple of losses. Sorry Sofia.”

“Darn it.” Sofia punched the crate she was sitting on. “Why doesn’t the top brass get it? We need to bring the fight to the mantis. That’s the only way we can take them by surprise and win more often than runn...”

“Will you let me finish?” said Captain Lagardy in his characteristic stern commanding voice.

Sofia went quiet immediately.

“As I was saying. The good news is that I managed to cajole the supply issuance guy. If we can find a crew teleporter via unofficial means and install it in The Space-Kite, he’ll keep it out of the reports and save us on the paperwork.”

“Meaning we have to look for it in black markets?” queried the large imposing rock crew member with his normal booming voice.

“Exactly. It’s not ideal but we can pull it off. And the last bit of news, the better one, is that I’ve found our new gunner.” Lagardy turned and looked at someone down the ramp of the cargo bay, “and looks like he’s here.”

Walking up the cargo bay ramp was a slightly flabby human carrying a rucksack and a sidebag.

“You got here just in time.” Lagardy turned back to the crew and said, “Crew, meet Raffick Woolza… I’m sorry, what was your name again?”

“Lower Private Rafiq Ul Zardari, captain”, spoke the man with a salute quickly standing in attention.

“Right. Sorry about that. And ease up soldier. We’re not on the battlefront yet. Besides, this is a war of skirmishes. Our ship will be alone in deep mantis space with no backup. Ranks and salutes don’t work there; that’s only for when we’re at a base. Out there, the 5 of us is all we got. So we have to take care of each other. Got it Raff?”

“Yes sir”, said Rafiq as he put his hand down and walked up the ramp.

“A greenie, Captain? Seriously?” said Sofia, incredulous.

Lagardy took a glance at Rafiq standing at the top of the ramp, turned to Sofia and said, “He’s got very good aims on simulation and he comes very well recommended.”

“Captain, a greenie with good aim is still a greenie. The Space-Kite is a ranger ship. We need someone with experience on her guns.”

“I agree but with our recent win/lose ratio, I assure you he’s the best I could get without having to bribe some general.”

Lagardy turned to face Rafiq listening to the conversation. “So Rafiq, I’m sure you realize with you being fresh outta the academy, this assignment is on a trial basis. If your performance isn’t up to the stuff your report says, you’ll be back on the recruitment list. We clear?”

“Yes sir. I’ll try my best” Rafiq replied.

“Anyways, this is the crew of The Space-Kite. I’m the captain, Bear Lagardy. Over there we have Pomeroy, our engines operator.” Lagardy said, nodding towards the metallic grey coloured humanoid, composed of trillions of nanomachines, standing a little to the side holding a datapad.

Pomeroy, the engi, gave a slight nod of his single giant green eye and said, “Greetings.”

Rafiq nodded back. “Hi.”

“Next we have our shields guy, Zekko Sunn.” Lagardy gestured towards the rock, a humanoid shape made entirely of organic stone wearing a XXXXL sized T shirt & oversized shorts, sitting on the floor.

“Welcome aboard” said Zekko, stretching out his large hand.

Rafiq stretched out his arm and held the rock’s hand and said “Hello”. Zekko gently wrapped his fist over Rafiq’s hand and shook it softly.

Sofia said, quite surprised, “Didn’t expect a greenie to have met a rock before.”

“I haven’t”, replied Rafiq.

“Then how come you were so nonchalant to shake Zekko’s hand? Even I was hesitant the first time I met a rock” said Lagardy, equally surprised as Sofia.

Rafiq said with a smile, “He’s not going to crush my hands. So why should I worry?”

Zekko asked, “What if I didn’t know my own strength? How were you so sure I wouldn’t hurt you by accident?”

“Then you wouldn’t have stretched out your hand to shake mine in the first place.”

Zekko gave a short laugh at this and said, “I like this guy already captain. He’s got spunk.”

Lagardy smiled, “and over here we have our only other human crew, Sofia Grundi. She’s been working on weapons since our designated gunner was KIA about 2 weeks ago.”

Rafiq was shaken by this. He certainly didn’t expect to be deployed in a ranger ship straight out of the academy. But he was elated to hear that he was since very few greenies get directly selected on one. And even though he knew that over 60% of gunners on a ranger ship have an average lifespan of about 2 to 3 months at most in this war, hearing Captain Lagardy reminded him of what exactly he was getting into.

Although he was trying to hide it, Rafiq’s face spelt out clearly what he was thinking. Lagardy knew he had to stop the newbie’s train of thought before he scares himself witless before they even leave the dock.

“Hey Raff?”, the captain said.

“Sir?” Rafiq was snapped out of his thoughts.

“Stop that line of thought. You’re a soldier for Pete’s sake. This is what you’ve been trained to do. So man up. Sofia will show you where the crew quarters are and give you a tour of the ship.”

Sofia gave a short sigh and got down from the crate.

“And just for posterity, there’s the captain i.e. me, Bear Lagardy. Anyways, Sofia’s gonna show you the weapons. Get used to the actual controls while we’re still docked. This isn’t a simulation any more Rafiq. And one last thing, on my ship, I demand absolute teamwork. Treat each other like family because all of our lives are dependent on each other. You can forget rank on my ship but don’t forget that. We clear?”

“Aye aye, captain”, said Rafiq.

“C’mon greenie. Let’s go”, called Sofia from near the door heading towards the inside of the ship.

Rafiq quickly followed her out of the cargo hold.

***

The two of them walked through the narrow corridor of the ship. They soon passed a door off to the left with the word pantry written on it.

Sofia pointed while still maintaining her pace, “That there’s our pantry. We have meals either in the crew quarters or we just grab some food and eat it on our respective rooms. How good are you at repairing?”

Rafiq was slightly confused at this sudden change in topic. “Uhm you mean like repairing broken machinery?”

“Yeah. Damaged systems or subsystems. Also, breaches.”

“Half-decent, I guess. We’ve had classes on ship repair.”

“Did the classes include repairing while being attacked?”

“Uhh no.”

“Thought so. Well I’ll help you out on the first few times. Specially with breaches. But you better learn fast. Anyways, here we are to the cabins.”

They both reached a set of double doors leading into a medium sized room, about half the size of the cargo hold, housing 4 beds with 2 beds on each side, a large mattress near the wall at the end and a cupboard.

“That mattress is for Zekko, obviously. Pomeroy doesn’t actually need to lie down but he does anyways.” Sofia pointed towards the cupboard. “You can drop off your bags inside there. Forget the lockers at the academy. No private storage here. Get used to it.”

“Right”, replied Rafiq as he took off his rucksack and handbag and shoved it in the cupboard.

 “The bathroom’s over there”, Sofia spoke, pointing towards a door a little ways ahead. “Remember, use the NACS for cleaning. Don’t use water unless absolutely necessary. You need to change?”

“Uh, no, I’m fine.”

“Good. Remember, this is a ranger ship. We specialize in strategic clandestine guerrilla attacks. That means absolutely no official uniforms unless we're docked at a Federation base. Anyways, let’s continue with the tour.”

***

The tour of The Space-Kite took about 20 minutes. Sofia tried her best to explain everything to Rafiq, who listened intently and asked questions every so often trying to take in as much information as he could. The two of them were now at the weapons control room with Sofia showing Rafiq how everything worked with the weapon auto-targeting and auto-charging system.

“…and that’s about everything you need to know. Any questions?”

Rafiq could tell that Sofia was getting fatigued. It was clear that she’s not used to talking this much. He got a feeling that she’s more of an ‘actions-speak-louder’ kinda girl.

“Yeah, you forgot to tell me the power level of the weapons. Also, I could see outside that we have a Burst Laser Mk 2, Hull Laser Mk 1 and an Artemis. Is there anything else?” Rafiq queried.

“No. That’s all. We got level 5 weapons so we can power all of them. By the way, I’ll be keeping a close watch on you for our first few encounters to see how you’re doing and take over if you’re screwing up royally.”

Rafiq turned back just in time to see Sofia smirk as she sat down on the extra stool. He responded, “Thanks. I’ll try my best not to let you have that chance. What happened to the previous weapons crew before you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Sofia said, “Are you sure you wanna hear it? It’s kinda terrifying and I don’t want you to have nightmares before even getting to the battlefield.”

Rafiq replied, “I had a feeling you were going to say something like that. No. I’m not sure. I might get nightmares, yes, but I think I should know. So I can try my best to avoid meeting the same fate.”

Sofia looked at Rafiq. It was clear he was trying to show his best game face but was scared inside. She found herself somewhat impressed by the spunk of this newbie. Zekko was right. She gave a sigh. “Okay. I did warn you.”

“We were facing this large mantis ship. They had fried our weapon systems. But our last Artemis shot managed to take down theirs so they weren’t going to damage us either. It was a stalemate. And then we got boarded. 2 mantises, Zekko and I can handle. But this time there were 4, at once. Zekko and I managed to trap 3 of them in our medbay, holding them off from running to other parts of the ship. But a lone mantis managed to break through the door to the weapons bay.”

“Sean was busy repairing. I guess since the rooms outside were vented to space, he expected the mantis to die before breaking through. By the time we were done with 2 mantises and finishing off the 3^rd we heard his scream from the weapons bay. I quickly ran over leaving Zekko to take care of the 3^rd one. When I reached the weapons bay, I saw the mantis remove his claw from a gaping hole in Sean’s back. Pomeroy also entered the room from the door on the other side. Then the mantis turned to me and laughed. The bitch laughed.” Sofia punched her knee in anger.

“I lifted my gun and so did Poms but the bugface disappeared, teleporting out. Neither of us could get a shot in. I grabbed Sean and felt no pulse. I told Pomeroy to repair the weapons and carried Sean to the medbay. Zekko was on his way out when I ran in the medbay and laid Sean on the table and started pumping adrenalin in him. Didn’t work. He was already dead. The mantis stabbed right through his heart. He probably died before I even reached the room.”

Rafiq was speechless. Sofia was right. That was a horrible way to go. He asked in a raspy voice, “Did you get them?”

“You bet we did. The mantis scout was trying to jump away but Sean had managed to repair the weapons to level 1 before going down and Poms fired an Artemis as soon as it charged up and blasted the mantis’ cockpit. Bear told me to leave Sean and help Poms with repairs. I did. We quickly patched up the controls and used a burst laser volley to take down their shields, followed by the hull laser to crack the scout wide open.”

Rafiq listened intently and was about to speak when the captain’s voice came over the intercom, “Listen up crew, we just got our assignment. We’re heading to the Sedocho sector. Everyone prep your respective systems. We leave in 10 minutes.”

Sofia stood up from the stool, “Well, enough flashbacking. I’ll go doublecheck the life support.”

“I can go check the doors and sensors.” Rafiq volunteered.

Before Sofia could say anything, Pomeroy entered the room and responded, “Not required. Doors control and Sensor status, 100% percent. All external doors’ status, closed.”

Sofia chuckled, “Well no arguing with an engi on that. You just sit tight and run a diagnostic on the weapons. I’ll be right back.”

Rafiq ran a short diagnostic on the weapons, powering them up and depowering them. Sofia got back soon and took her seat on the stool. Soon enough, the captain’s voice came over the intercoms, “Alright crew, we’re undocking. This is it Private Zardari. Welcome to the frontlines of the Federation-Mantis War.”

The ship shook slightly as it undocked from Signovia. The thruster rockets carried them to the FTL beacon near the station. Soon came the ‘ding’ sound that Rafiq would soon grow accustomed to, indicating the FTL drive becoming fully charged.

Lagardy’s voice came over the intercom again, “Prepare for FTL jump in 4. 3. 2. 1. Here we go.”

The Space-Kite disappeared in a bright flash near the FTL beacon.

Footnote:

NACS: Non-Aqueous Cleaning System
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